After we have gotten through the celebration of Mother’s Day, Father’s Day quickly rolls up on us. Sons and daughters have to think hard again on what they wish to convey to their dads.
On a search of articles online, there seem to be more articles making fun of dads or venting angers at dad. A search of keyword ‘angry at mom’ on Google reveals 49,000 results. But ‘angry at dad’ brings 235,000 results.
Hellen Chen, a relationship and parenting expert whose marital and family principles have been featured in over 300 media publications, including radio and TV, and in over 16 countries, shared her own story about growing up in a family where mom was constantly mad at dad.
When Chen was three years old, her mom asked her a question: “If mom and dad would not be together, who would you follow?” Not understanding her mom’s question, Chen answered: “Both.”
Later, as Chen grew up, she understood why mom asked her that question.
“When I was growing up, there was not a day where I did not see my mom and dad quarreling and fighting. My mom would tell me all the nasty things about dad and I would see them at each other’s throats every single day,” said Chen.
It was so bad that Chen and her siblings even once suggested that her parents get divorced.
Chen continued on to become the author of 20 books, an expert in the field of relationships and ‘walk her talk’ about creating lasting relationships by having a solid marriage with her husband of 20-some years.
So what happened to her parents?
Not only did the divorce not happen, senior Mr. Chen and Mrs. Chen just celebrated their diamond-wedding anniversary.
“It was a tough long road. We did not know which way it would go. My father said that I affected their marriage tremendously. My mom told me many years later that she was happy that she did not separate from dad,” said Chen.
“I told myself that by setting a good example in my own relationship first, I could help them,” said Chen.
In the interim, Chen has helped tremendous number of individuals who had given up on relationships—whether it is between parents and child, or with husband and wives. One of her books The Matchmaker of the Century contains real-life stories of how she has helped singles and couples to overcome tremendous hardships, disappointments and challenges in relationships. The book has become a bestseller on Barnes and Noble.
“Our mom and dad are not perfect. It is unfair to expect them to be perfect role models when they have their own changes to go through. But a child’s love for them will help them to go through no matter how tough it may be. A child knowing how to love a parent in the end is more important than being mad at them,” said Chen.
To help men and women to create a lasting relationship with their loved ones, Chen started a series of Love Workshops around the world. Her next workshop is scheduled for July in Los Angeles See matchmakerofthecentury.com for more information.