Domestic violence

Richard Hammond, Esq.

Richard Hammond, Esq.

Domestic violence now shares center stage as the topic of the month. Domestic violence takes place when solving a disagreement peacefully ceases to exist. However, it occurs not only in the physical realm but as mental and emotional abuse as well. This tragedy does not operate in a vacuum. It takes two. The world we live in is violent from the beetle to Homo sapiens. Nature (the Creator) has given every organism tools to ensure survival. From tough armor to biotoxic poisons to exceptional speed to sharp teeth and claws, everything has an asset for protection. Mankind is no different. The male of the species has speed and physical strength. The female has her cunning, quick wit and her tongue. The average woman is no match for the average man when it comes to physical confrontation. She will lose. On the other hand, the average man cannot master the average, or even less than average, woman when it comes to verbal combat. During the course of verbal disagreement, usually the man is at a disadvantage. Women are guided by passionate emotion. Men use cold logic. Anger is a passionate response. His opponent is more skillful at disarming him with her tongue. Eventually, she will wear him down. She knows how to wound and where to strike. It is here that the tide of the battle changes. She strikes with ferocity equal to any lioness and without mercy. When the man seeks to retreat, she follows in her relentless pursuit to destroy or win.

She will browbeat him into submission, but in some cases (if she feels ineffective) hurl physical objects, including herself, at him. At that point, she has entered the male’s domain—physicality. He will now do what he does best, attack.

In my opinion, the female has the upper hand. A very old woman (90 years young) gave me a very powerful piece of wisdom. She kind of took a liking to me and gave her sage old insight. She said, very matter-of-factly: “There never was a woman, who was a woman, who couldn’t handle her man.” It took me a few years to grasp the full meaning of her wisdom. (I was 38 at the time.) A wise woman does not need a platform or megaphone to say who the boss is. She can steer her man in most any direction she chooses. She does not need the car to get what she wants. After all, she has the keys. I have spoken with many women about the relationship between man and woman. Most have agreed that they will sometimes provoke a fight (or lie) to have the weight of the law on her side. That’s clever, but a dangerous move. Now I do not say that violence is the way to resolve issues of dispute. That takes reason, maturity, and a healthy dose of common sense. However in the realm of reality, if the law says it is illegal for one to strike another (unless in self-defense), then I, as a man, have the right to defend myself against another man. Should I not have that same right of self-defense against any aggressor?