Why daughters need fathers (from Raising Black Girls and Educating Black Girls)

Dr. Jawanza Kunjufu

Dr. Jawanza Kunjufu

The media and the academic community provide a wealth of information on why boys need their fathers. The most obvious being that you can’t be someone you have not seen. Girls can look at their mothers and receive the importance and significance of role models on a daily basis. But why do girls need fathers?

How will a girl learn how to be loved by a man? What criteria will a girl use to select a mate if she has not seen a man at home? Why do many females choose thugs over scholars? Why do so many choose disrespectful men over gentlemen? How will she know how a man should treat her?

Forty-seven percent of rapes are due to date rape. In a relationship, there is a 61% chance of a physical altercation. Sixty percent of teen pregnancies occur between males three to five years her senior. Are girls looking for an older male to fill the shoes of their missing daddies?

In my book, Raising Black Girls, I provide over 20 illustrations of girls suffering from ‘daddy issues.’

They range from having a low grade point average, to depression. They include not being able to trust a man, staying in toxic relationships, multiple sex partners, and suicide. Our daughters are crying out for their fathers. The question becomes, are the fathers listening?

Some fathers feel that when children are younger they need their mothers more. Some also believe their sons need them more than their daughters. I believe young children and daughters need their fathers more than ever before. When daughters are loved and respected by the most important male in their lives, they will not settle for second best.

Can you visualize a father reviewing his daughter’s attire before she leaves the house? Many females dress promiscuous because the father was absent. Can you picture a father rehearsing the famous lines males use to try to seduce young girls? This could reduce teen pregnancy and possessing an STD. Can you imagine a father taking his daughter out in a limo to a five star restaurant? He is teaching her to be a queen and to have high standards and high expectations. He is teaching her not to act like the degrading names gangster rappers call females.

The challenge is that only 28% of our daughters have fathers in the home. I am imploring the remaining 72% to call their daughters and begin to spend time with them. Don’t worry, she will teach you all the things that interests her, like: what she wants to do with you, what she wants to talk about, and how she wants you to love her.

How nice to anticipate her glorious wedding day where you will walk her down the aisle and give your daughter away to a man that meets your approval—a man who reminds you of yourself.