Faith of a mustard seed

Barbara Woods-Washington 2014

Barbara A. Woods Washington, M. Div.

IT IS “a peculiar sensation, this double consciousness, this sense of always looking at one’s self through the eyes of others, of measuring one’s soul by the tape of a world that looks on in amused contempt and pity. One ever feels his twoness,— an American, a Negro; two souls, two thoughts, two unreconciled strivings, two warring ideas in one dark body, whose dogged strength alone keeps it from being torn asunder.” What an awesome Teacher to take us into 2017, W. E. B. Du Bois.

Schizophrenia has been called ‘a living nightmare’. How powerful an analogy to aide in recognizing the fact that IT IS the ‘#1 Disease of modern man’; as it is talked about in the fields of both Philosophy and Psychology. One statistic claims that about 30% to 50% of people with schizophrenia fail to accept that they have an illness.

How about THE ENTIRE STATE of Black America. EVER feeling his doubleness,— an American, a Negro; double souls, double thoughts, double unreconciled strivings, double warring ideas in one dark body”; —forced to live life as— Schizophrenic??? Acc-ept it, Recognize it, Believe it— OR NOT.

Schizophrenia, then, is a mental disorder; a failure to understand what is real. It is anxiety disorders; depressive illness; or substance use disorders, (whether by choice or by forcing 4 and 5 year old children to lives of substance dependancy in order to…???). It includes false beliefs; unclear or confused thinking. Another statistic says that in 2013 an estimated 16,000 people worldwide died from behavior related to, or caused by, schizophrenia. It is distortions of self-experience such as feeling as if one’s thoughts or feelings are not really one’s own, to believing thoughts are being inserted into one’s mind.

I count my studies at the Interdenominational Theological Center in Atlanta as one of the greatest blessings of my life. Studying Bible, Christianity and Church History among the now Pastors, Preachers and Leaders of the Six (6) most predominant mainline Black Church Denominations. I came to know that there was ‘Great Cause’ in the ‘Schism’ of Catholicism and Protestantism. I read and listened to the lesser causes for the ‘schisms’ of Protestantism— ‘denominationalism’. After teaching World Religions and going from Church to Church to church, EVERY Sunday morning; new? churches— never ceasing to sprout up… EVERYWHERE; I see that Christianity is the most schizophrenic of all the World’s Great Religions. I know, ‘anathema’, right? Not so much. The (mind of the) Church just keeps splitting, and splitting, and splitting, and…

This “peculiar sensation”, this SPLIT consciousness, this sense of always looking at one’s self through the eyes of others… an American, a Negro; SPLIT souls, SPLIT thoughts, SPLIT unreconciled strivings, SPLIT warring ideas in one dark body,.. ‘The Others’ gave us their interpretation of Christianity. Perhaps so that we would ALWAYS SEE OURSELVES thro-ugh— ‘Their eyes’.

The most overlooked fact of Christianity? Jesus WAS NOT a Christian! He was born, he lived and died in Judaism. After having committed my life to Biblical Studies, I am grateful to be a “Follower of The Teachings of Jesus”.

All of these ‘diseased’ people gathered daily at this Pool in Bethzatha. They believed that help for their diseases and afflictions could be found in… this pool of water. They cut each other off, fighting for first place to BE PUT… in this water. 38 Years, (aw, ya’ll don’t hear me) 38 years this man had sat and wasted his life ‘thinking that’ his healing was… in this water. Jesus said to this man, “Do you want to be made whole”? All these excuses this man made; “I have no one…”. Jesus said (just GET UP, WAKE up, STAND up from this ‘mind disease’… AND, it has nothing to do with… ‘this water’) “RISE UP and WALK”!

by email: mustard seedfaith@outlook.com