What most fathers want their daughter to know

William T. Robinson, Jr.

William T. Robinson, Jr.

Young girls who have their fathers in their lives are extremely blessed and fortunate having the loving advice and guidance of a caring and protective father. Many media resources say the absent Black father is negligent and uncaring in the outcome of their children (especially their daughters). This is based on conflicting conjectures.

The truth is that many fathers face many obstacles that keep them from being the acceptable model society dictates representing an ideal father. Some of the obstacles that may impede a father’s involvement in a child’s life may include immaturity, social incompatibility with the child’s mother, lack of employment contributing to the man being unable to support the child, distant location, lack of parenting skills, no role model growing up himself in a single parent home, and incarceration.

Some are quick to say that there is no excuse for a father not allowed to be in the life of their child. However, that is more idealistic than realistic in many situations. I would argue that most men would love to be there for their children, especially their daughters. Most men are very protective of their young daughters. They see them as their little princesses to be pampered and spoiled. A man’s daughter literally controls the strings to his heart and is the source of abundant and unparallel pride and joy for her father. Prolonging their innocence and shielding their daughters from the harsh realities of life is a given for most fathers.

A daughter will always be her father’s little girl, regardless of the passing of time. He will be always cognizant of any obstacle that may cause his daughter hurt or pain. His greatest job willbe treating her with respect and love and instilling in her a love for herself that won’t allow her to disrespect herself or allow others todevalue her worth.

Being a man, understanding the aims of some males to take advantage of females, a father should arm his daughter with advice on the type of young man worthy of her attention. He will encourage his daughter to be intelligent, independent, and spiritual—carrying herself in position to be admired and respected. He will encourage her not to compromise her self-respect under any circumstances. But more than anything, he will let his little girl know he will always be there for her and his love is unconditional.

It is no secret that a young woman usually is looking for a man that manifests some of the same qualities as her father. So a good father should be very conscious of how he presents himself around his little princess. A young girl growing up with a good father in her life may be very picky and cautious in choosing a boyfriend or husband. That is okay and perhaps the way it should be.

Too many times young girls without fathers in their lives are using as examples mundane, superficial women portrayed on some of these reality TV shows as examples of what a woman should be. Mimicking the actions of some of the women on television (often seen as sexual objects, narcissistic gold diggers, shallow and vacuous or sensational) can make a young woman a bad candidate for marriage or as a lifelong soul mate.

I would imagine that committed fathers would have that ‘serious talk’ with their daughters making sure they don’t mistake lust for love. They should make certain their daughters don’t fall prey to peer pressure encouraging permissive sexual activities. While many men are quick to indulge in sex with many women, few decent men make a known sexually promiscuous woman his wife. A father should teach his daughter that dating is about taking the time to get to know someone—not a reason to go to bed with someone you don’t know. These girls then often wonder why the boys don’t return their calls. A good father should encourage her to use self-control in navigating herself through trying times, avoiding unwise choices that bring about lifelong consequences.

The truth is that most fathers find it hard to imagine someone being intimate with their daughter, their little princess. They can only hope the young man their daughter eventually chooses is worthy of the love of their little girls. Few relationships equal the closeness of a father-daughter relationship. It is also worth noting that while some fathers may be distant or separated from their daughter’s mother, it doesn’t diminish the love the father may have for his daughter. Sure there exist some deadbeat fathers, but I would argue that most fathers have unconditional love for their daughters.